Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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