I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
