He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
