I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
