The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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