don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
