so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
