So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
