am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
