weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
