So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize