She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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