I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We have started to decorate penises.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
