I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
