Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
