I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
