i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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