you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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