so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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