Your mouth is God's brothel.
I can text with my tongue
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
