After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
