I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Randomize
