God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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