I wanna bring you to show and tell
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
