somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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