Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
