as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize