I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
