Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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