doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
only you would photoshop your dick
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
