Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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