We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
