How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
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