C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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