there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
