Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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