Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
