Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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