when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
