i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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