If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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