Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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