Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
plz talk dirty to me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
