I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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