We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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