I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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