she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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