garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There are leaves in my underwear?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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