didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
