I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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