What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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