why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
