Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
