I looked at my own cervix.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
