Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm going to jail i love you
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
