Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
