My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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