I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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