is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
