I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
