Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
