your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
