She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
