I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
