I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize