When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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