I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize