everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
